Well it has been two weeks now since i found out that i was actually negative. I went through alot of emotions these two weeks and it has not been easy....i am sitting with relief of being negative and also anger at the stupidity of lab rats as i call them that botched everything up.
In a way i want to come face to face with those who gave me the results and then be like Dexter...but instead of chopping them up i want to use the same method to make their lifes a misery. I have been living for 8 years with this supposed virus in me...and live my life in such a hermatic way that it has made me so angry at the moment in realising how much i have lost these 8 years. I have been imprisoned emotionally, physically!!! I do not think it is fair at all.
But lets put it like this i believe in Karma and Karma is a bitch...it will come back and slap you so hard that one will wonder what has hit one. So if Karma is anything like what i imagine it can be then let it be.
At the moment i am in a mourning process and thanks to EMT i am coping well with the emotions what i am going through.
I guess what i am trying to say is that who ever reads this and has friends and/or family who is HIV positive and/or negative, please support them through the process of making peace with what they have to or had to endure. Please don't be like me and keep all the anger inside, speak to someone.
I have 8 years that i have to process and work through and it is going to take a lot of EMT work to get through this.
Love and light to everybody out there who is positive. I will be thinking of you and keep you in my prayers. Remember you are not the virus it is something in you that can be won and healed.
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